A New York club aimed at enhancing women’s sex lives has proved so successful that it is bringing its ‘stripathon’, thongs and lap dancers over here.

Emily, Matt and Melinda don’t look like the sort of people whose party would make the front page of the New York Post for having live sex acts. Eating spinach salad and black bean soup, they look as wholesome and reassuring as their educations.

Emily went to Columbia; Matt went to Brown; and Melinda to New York University. Tanned and articulate, they order iced tea and lemonade and don’t look as if they are on the edge of a sexual revolution that has New York twentysomethings in something of a tizzy. Which just proves how deceptive looks can be.

Twelve months ago Emily Kramer, her brother Matthew and his girlfriend, Melinda Gallagher, started Cake, a sex club whose name is taken from US slang for the female organ, and which is designed to act as a forum where people, but especially women, could talk about sex in an intelligent way.

The two women felt frustrated that mainstream pornography was cliched and aimed at men. Meanwhile the feminist movement had raged about rape, but ignored the importance of a fulfilling sexual relationship.

“I had no sexual outlet,” says Emily, 23. “No place to learn about sex and ask questions both educational and about sexual lifestyle. There was nothing out there that reflected me.”

Melinda, 28, felt the same. Armed with a Master’s degree in human sexuality and public health, for five years she had taught basic sexual education in developing countries including the Yemen, South Africa and Kenya. Yet when she examined her own culture she felt there was still a lot of ignorance.

The only sources for women also appeared to be limited to Cosmopolitan and Glamour. “Women’s magazines basically provide the same information just recycled over and over again and their only angle is that women should get their sexual pleasure by gratifying men,” says Melinda.

“I had a passion,” she continues, with a glint in her eye. “We wanted to create a place that reflected straight women’s real sexuality. I’m not talking about Playgirl, which is 90 per cent for gay men. I would get together with my friends and we’d all talk about sex, but then there was nothing beyond that.” They thought about launching a magazine, but it was too expensive. They thought about a website, but it seemed too remote. And then they thought about starting an informal club where people could meet once a month in different venues and chat about sex.

One year on and Cake has had 12 parties, each larger than the last and three of them “stripathons” – we’ll come back to those in a minute. It all began, though, with the three of them asking friends to turn up one Monday night to discuss pornography. They booked a downtown club called Fun from 7pm to 10pm, and in the two preceding weeks Melinda and Emily sat and diligently watched more than 100 hours of adult movies.

“We fastforwarded through a lot of stuff” says Melinda. While much of it was predictable, starring blonde ladies with artificially enhanced breasts, they managed to stay awake long enough to produce a four-hour medley they felt might be suitable for female viewers.

As the partygoers arrived they were treated to 40ft high screens displaying these edited highlights, plus free condoms, lubricants and sex toys that the Cake founders had persuaded sponsors to donate.

The revellers weren’t expected to have sex; that would be against New York regulations recently tightened up under Mayor Rudy Giuliani. But they were expected to talk about what turned them on. No one could shut them up.

It was a huge success. Far greater than the founders could have imagined. More than 200 people turned up, a number that made the troika realise there was a market for evenings full of sophisticated sex-talk aimed at people like them.

“We’re educated and progressive,” Matt says. “Our friends are hipsters, professionals, they work in movies and in new media. Gays and lesbians have a sexual culture in New York, but where do heterosexual women go? We were trying to bring a new sexiness to their lives.”

Two months later they followed up with Porn Party Two, this time throwing male and female lap dancers into the mix.

“That was a trip!” cries Matt. “That was a trip and a half!” says Melinda. “That was a real doozy” Emily adds quickly: “But there’s a purpose to a Cake party. It’s about creating a Cake community.”

The Internet picked up where word of mouth ran out. While the founders had told their friends about Cake, its website allowed them to expand, asking members to register for e-mails about forthcoming parties and serving up Cake-bytes – snippets of sexual information. There’s a question of the week and members are expected to answer with their own intimate anecdotes. This week’s Cake-byte, for example, is about bikini-waxes: why have them and where.

he third party was a masked ball – according to Melinda “creating a sinfully sexy and anonymous atmosphere.” Again, it was a success, where women were encouraged to discuss their sexual fantasies with their friends.

Price of entry is around $10 and women are allowed to attend on their own, but all men must be accompanied by a woman. Couples are welcome and make up much of the membership. To break the ice, all members receive a name badge with a question written on it, that they are expected to wear throughout the evening and fellow members are expected to answer. The most popular question is “When did you last masturbate?” But it wasn’t until the first Stripathon party last March that the Cake founders began to understand what they had unleashed. Smart professional women leapt on to the stage at Spa, a downtown nightclub, and began to rip off their clothes.

“Some of them had beautiful bodies and others less so,” says Melinda. “I remember one woman: she had a wonderful body and I thought she must have done this before. But when I talked to her she said she never had; she was a teacher or something, and she was very shy and this was like a big deal for her.”

A lot of men are very threatened by sexually confident women,” says Matt, 30, recalling how his male friends first ridiculed the idea of a sex club that put women’s needs first. But their girlfriends were intrigued by the idea and wanted more information. “It was really clear that 99 per cent of the women we talked to about it were totally supportive,” he says. It was the last party, three weeks ago, that finally put Cake above the New York radar. More than 800 people crowded into Spa for Stripathon III. This time word had got out and there was a queue around the block. As well as preparing for their first anniversary party, they are now focusing on how to develop a brand aimed at women which might produce designer sex toys and books full of literate smut. And next February Cake will have its first foreign trip, to London, when it hosts a launch party for the book Sex: Handbook. “This is by women for women,” says Melinda. “Cake is a place designed for women to experience their sexuality, but also to feel safe in such an environment.”